Running, but it feels like I’m standing still!

Today was supposed to be a stay-at-home and catch-up day, but the best laid plans…  Had trouble falling asleep last night and  then overslept.  Thankfully my husband played taxi and took our son to work.  I managed to start a load of laundry and do something about the top layer of dust in our bedroom before getting a call from my sister.  She can’t drive right now do to some medical issues and had a last minute doctor appointment to head out to. I don’t mind helping her out as we always have some fun and she’s certainly done plenty to help me and my family out.  However, we live just north of somewhere and are 45 minutes from anywhere, so trips take at least several hours when you factor in driving time, doctor’s office wait time, and just one quick errand.

I have a new collaboration/commissioned art piece that I want to start working on, but it’s hard for me to justify working on it when the house feels way too lived in.  Counters are cluttered, dishes are stacked-up and laundry is creeping out of the laundry room into the hallway.  My family never complains.  If asked, they would say “go make art”.  I’m the one too distracted to start the process.

Beginning a new art project is challenging to say the least.  This piece will hang in a church where my former pastor and friend is the community minister.  I’m going to try and create a canvas that depicts the programs they are developing.  I have an image in my head that I’d like to “make real”. I’ve been sketching and playing with images and words and collecting a pile of possible stuff that might be involved.

If I follow my usual routine, I’ll work on it until I’m about half-way through, declare it to be a piece of crap, and then depending on how truly bad I think it is, I’ll either tear it up or deface it in some way.  After I’ve calmed down (a couple of hours or days or…)I’ll start back in and incorporate the damage into the finished piece.  Hopefully, by the end I’ll like it or at least tolerate it.  It won’t look anything like I’d planned, of course.  Never really shared this bit of info with anyone.  Not sure why I’m putting it out in the world now.

Running because I feel overwhelmed by what I need to be doing and get done.  Standing still because I don’t even know where to start.  I just feel like I’m spinning in place.

Tomorrow will be a better day.



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