Sounds like I had a bad day on Monday and yesterday was, indeed better. I decided to bless myself and take a little break. I did some necessary housework…the kind that ensures that my house won’t be condemned if someone official should stop by. Then I played with some art supplies and watched a movie from the SyFy channel: “Swamp Shark”. Yeah, I actually did get a degree in English, but I’m secretly addicted to cheesy end-of-the-world and/or disaster movies. Well, I guess it was a secret (oops). Guess I’m getting a little more comfortable with this blogging thing.
Anyway, as I was getting ready to enter a period of deep reflection and meditation (nap-time), my gaze stopped on this piece of art hanging on my wall. It’s one of the few pieces I’ve made that I really, really like. I don’t remember exactly when I made it, but it was inspired by something I read in Frederick Buechner’s , The Alphabet of Grace. The passage is fairly lengthy, but here’s part of it.
“It is the first day because it has never been before and the last day because it will never be again. Be alive if you can all through this day today of your life. What’s to be done? What’s to be done?
Follow your feet. Put on the coffee. Start the orange juice, the bacon, the toast. The go wake up your children and your wife. Think about the work of your hand…Live in the needs of the day.”
I remember that when I read it the first time, I was “going through a period of growth”. I was contemplating entering the ministry and going to graduate school. Life seemed overwhelming. Could I do this new thing? Could I balance my family life with new responsibilities? Was I making decisions that were right for me and my family? What would the impact of all of this be like? That passage helped me find something concrete to center on. Focus on the realities of life first. Do what needs to be done. The air around me was full of possibilities and maybes. The ground around me was full of loved ones and tasks.
The sections of the circle represent the different parts of my life. No matter how many segments there are, it is still one life, my life. The heart will always be at the center. Love must remain my focus – whether I am working at a job for income or doing laundry. Without the proper balance the circle won’t hold together and the heart will fall out. If I’m not doing it out of love, what is the point? Where is the joy and purpose?
It was a good day yesterday…a piece of art reminded me that I had lost focus again. Once again, in the midst of a great deal of change in my life (good and bad), I need to live in the needs of the day.