I’m all alone in the house except for my two Basset Hounds and the Bagel (a Basset Hound, Beagle cross). The weather changed dramatically today and its cooler than normal. I planned on snuggling in bed and falling asleep while reading; enjoying the quiet. Not happening.
I wandered to my computer and have been sitting here staring at the screen trying to come up with something profound to write about. My mind is full of a lot of thoughts as usual, but I can’t say that any are particularly profound. So, I did what any rational person who is having trouble sleeping would do. I read my email…boring. Facebook…boring…everyone I know must be off doing something interesting. Blog…well, boring. I’ve already covered that.
Let’s look up the meaning of the word profound. Maybe some thought in my head is profound and I just didn’t realize it.
Profound – having or showing great knowledge or insight. wise, learned, clever, intelligent, scholarly,sage, erudite, discerning, penetrating, perceptive, astute, thoughtful, insightful, percipient, perspicacious.
Ummm. No, I was right. Those words do not remotely describe anything going on in my brain. Those are pretty intimidating words…even on a good day I’m not sure I deserve any of those – and certainly not the whole litany.
However, the detour to the online dictionary was not wasted. I realized that I have never heard the word perspicacious before. I’ve certainly never used it. So I went and looked it up: having or showing an ability to notice and understand things that are difficult or not obvious. I think that is a great word. I can’t wait to use it someday.
But, back to the topic at hand. Something profound to write about. Let’s try this…
I’m not sure that it’s technically profound, but it is important because it’s something I’ve been thinking about since it happened yesterday. I’ve been giving some thought to writing about it, but it’s a tricky subject for me. A subject that makes me uncomfortable when it happens.
Here goes: A friend gave me a compliment. Not just a “you look nice today” kind of compliment, but an emotional, thought out, heart touching kind of compliment. And she posted it on facebook. Where other people could read it. It was one of the top 10 nicest things anyone has every done for me. I cried. Another friend commented on it. I cried again. I’m crying now.
It was a profound moment for me. They described me in a way that I didn’t recognize. It made me uncomfortable because I didn’t see myself in the person they described.
I believe that the mirror we see ourselves in is like a piece of aluminum foil. There is a reflection there, but it’s blurry and unclear. We perceive or interpret ourselves through our life experiences and the people around us. Our “vision” of ourselves is influenced by and tends to come from others: the criticisms and compliments we receive from childhood on…and the negative tends to be what we remember most. It’s much like that inner voice we all have. Mine rarely says, “Good job”. It often says, “Can’t you do anything right?” It’s something I’ve really been working on. I’m trying to identify where those words came from? Where did I hear that?
So, this compliment I received…there might be some truth in it. It certainly described the person I aspire to be. I think we need to make a point to “polish” the mirror we are looking into. Maybe it’s best to let our loved ones and friends do it for us. They may just have a better view. They might be more perspicacious than we are in that regard.
4 thoughts on “Profound.”
Yes, why do we accept and internalize criticisms and painful words but reject words of love and encouragement? What a skewed vision we have! Lovely post, Kelly– 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hello, treasured friend. Simplicity is so much more profound than erudite philosophy that excludes the heart in favor of the intellect. (Did you see how those big words love to play? Never mind, they challenge their own meaning. I’ll simplify.)
I’ve been learning to practice that polishing of the mirror, just as you say. Recently, actively, in startling ways. And, you know? I am healed by the love I have found … that, too, is something so very profound. (Ah! this time it rhymed.)
I think the moment it truly sank in is the moment I realized I’d been calling my friends liars for loving the beauty they see, denying their truthfulness and integrity. Since when do the people who hate and despise have the right to my trust in their cascade of lies? Isn’t the favor of the ones who give love a treasure far greater? A gift from above?
(Oh, I give up on being normal. Sometimes when God asks me to pour out my heart, it comes out as poetry. I do hope you enjoy it. 🙂 Love you!
Normal? Certainly not. We are artists. It is who we are. Rhyme away!