Fifty-three.

photo (46)Today is my birthday.  I am 53 years old.  Surprisingly enough, I’m not bothered by the number of years anymore.

“The great thing about getting older is that you don’t lose all the other ages you’ve been”.  Madeline L’Engle

That quote resonates with me today.  At 53 I do feel a bit wiser and I appreciate the past experiences that formed who I am now.  Some of the small things don’t bother me as much.  I am slower to anger and argument.  I don’t feel the need to convince everyone to think what I think and to be “right”.  I recognize that mean people exist and that is neither my fault or really my problem.  I’m quicker to look for the root of the problem and less likely to react without thinking things through.  I’m still far from perfect, but in looking back I can see that I’ve grown and matured and am a better person than I was.

I don’t mean to sound like I’ve reached perfection.  Far from it!  I have the ability to be as irrationally emotional, short-tempered, sarcastic and vindictive as ever.  I’d like to believe that I’m slower to exhibit those behaviors.  I hope that I am calmer and nicer.  It feels like I am.

“There are two great days in a person’s life – the day we are born and the day we discover why.”  William Barclay

I did a bit of research today and found that nothing really exciting happened in history on September 17th.  Nothing that seemed particularly interesting to me anyway.  So I guess that I’ll be happy enough that I was born…and that in the last year I have learned a lot about why I’m alive…about what makes me feel alive.  It’s tempting to look back and dismiss some of the things I’ve done in the past as boring or mundane.  I spent many years searching for great meaning and yearning for significant accomplishments.

But the moments and minutes and hours of my past combine to write the story that is me.  An insecure child of very human parents, sister, student, friend, wife, mom, depressed and anxious adult, artist, writer, and very human Kelly.  Every day in the past was important.  Today is my birthday.  I look forward to every day of my future…the good, the bad, the boring, the exciting, the everyday, and the extraordinary.  I am thankful to be alive…creating, nurturing, loving, and learning to be loved.

“Today I am me?  That is truer than true?  There is no one alive who is me-er than me!”  Dr. Seuss (with a bit of creative pronoun changing)

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5 thoughts on “Fifty-three.

  1. A belated happy birthday to you, Kelly! (I was celebrating my 20th anniversary yesterday, so it is a very special date in history around here!) Lovely post. I do find that there are great benefits to getting older, presumably to offset the not-so-nice parts. Not having to be right, or convince others of my view is the one I am really enjoying right now. It’s nice to be growing up finally. 🙂 I hope you had a super blessed day. Again, Happy Birthday!

  2. i am 53, too. My husband, David, was 53 on the 13th.
    It has been a goodly year. Looking forward to completing it and stepping into 54. I am a human gestation cycle ahead of you. I’ll let you know what is in store.

    (I started hiding the cards. SO MUCH FUN!)

  3. Happy Belated Birthday!
    I feel the same about growing older…
    instead of it bothering me, I take pride in becoming older, wiser, and better than I’ve been in the past.
    I also am not perfect, but heck, being perfect is over rated!
    I try my best to live my life by this quote: “The only person you should try to be better than, is the person you were yesterday”
    And there I days I cannot do that, but each day is a chance to start fresh!
    BTW – I will turn 39 next month.

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