This post is partly a progress report and mostly a “Yea Me!” moment.
Yesterday morning I awoke from one of the worst nightmares I have ever had. In short, it included just about everyone I have ever known involved in a series of “out of control” dramas. I woke up disoriented and in an extremely agitated mood.
In the past any sort of bad dream has been a warning sign of depression and anxiety moving in to stay a while. I’m sorta proud of myself for recognizing the problem and using the skills I’ve been actively working on to take control of the situation before it was too late.
What did I do? Two things: I accepted the fact that I couldn’t fix everything that was a problem in my life and world right now, and I tried to focus on what was getting done (not what wasn’t and couldn’t be done).
It worked. I made it through the day without any major meltdown and it turned out to be a pretty great day!
We still have a lot of yard that isn’t as cleaned up and beautiful as I would like, but this is the first year in awhile that we have kept a garden going this long before neglecting to water and care for it.
And the watermelon bed got weeded and mulched.
My herb bed is also partly weeded and mulched.
Thanks to help from my family, it now looks like this!
In all honesty, I still feel like my yard is a mess, my house is a disaster, we haven’t done as much school as we should have, the financial problems are worse and not improving much at all…I could go on and on, but
I believe that my outlook is slowly changing. I realize that there is work to be done, but I am no longer constantly overwhelmed by it. I can stop, breathe, take a moment and look at the positive. I can take a break from continually running around and trying to catch up until I burn out. I am taking more time for what brings me joy and for what is truly important.
Today’s plan –
- some classroom time
- a lot of dishwashing
- even more laundry
- a bit of decluttering
- some hugs
- a bit of art making
- a walk
- tidy up a bit
- go to the last baseball game of the season
- and calmly deal with whatever unplanned disaster that occurs because something will certainly happen because that’s just how life is
It’s a good thing to realize that my efforts to live with intention and to journey towards a better life are resulting in a positive change AND to be able to recognize that those changes are happening.
I love being able to see the sunshine, even on a cloudy day!