If You’re Not Paying Attention

 

What happens if you’re not paying attention?  Good question.  It may actually be more than a question…more like an actual lifestyle issue that needs attention.  We may be talking about my problem with addressing and paying attention to more than one area of my life at a time.

By now, you may be asking a question of your own.  What is she talking about  – or trying to talk about.

Remember my health “crisis” last October?  Emergency surgery, intestinal obstructions, the imminence of death.  What I didn’t share was that a month later I had some out-of-whack lab results that indicated pre-diabetes.

My focus was fully on my health.  I started exercising.  Walking about 3 miles a day.  Dropped most carbs from my diet.  Only whole grains.  LOTS of veggies and some fruit.  Dropped almost 40 pounds.  Felt fantastic!

And then…

because I felt so great, I started getting lots done around the house.  I decluttered and then organized.  I ripped up carpet and made plans for all the little (and big) stuff that needed to be done around here.

And then…

because the house was looking better, I had the opportunity and peace of mind to go on a creative binge.  Lots of art-making.

And then…

you guessed it – somewhere along the line, I forgot (conveniently) about taking care of myself.  I quit paying attention.  One missed day of exercise became two.  Eventually it wasn’t a habit at all.  I’ll just have one slice of pizza with my salad turned into pizza with no salad at all.   And so on…

And the house?  Well, it only stays decluttered and organized when you actually pay attention to it every day.  Otherwise, you wake up one morning and you’re right back where you started.

So, keeping in mind that I’m having an anxiety attack right here, right now…let’s establish this as a judgment free zone.

I started this blog with a promise to myself that I will always be open and honest.  I may not be telling you everything, but what I am sharing is the absolute truth.

I struggle with keeping my life together and sometimes I feel like such a failure.  I start to believe that I must be the only one in this same struggle.

But, I know that isn’t true.  Others are seeking to find balance also.

If you struggle with not “having it all together”, here’s some encouragement for you.  You are not alone.  We’re in this together!

So, here’s the “before” photos…some yesterday and some this morning.

the pantry...
the pantry…
the fridge...
the fridge…
the kitchen...Sigh.
the kitchen…Sigh.
IMAG0504
the blank canvas…
the unworn shoes and only 3257 steps on the fitbit...
the unworn shoes and only 3257 steps on the fitbit…
dinner last night (there were two cookies also, but I can't take a photo of them because I ate them)...
dinner last night (there were two cookies also, but I can’t take a photo of them because I ate them)…

I’m going to work towards improvement, but not perfection.  There can be room in my life for health, home, family and art.

There can be celebrations for small successes.

There can be forgiveness for failures.

I can try to pay attention.

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5 thoughts on “If You’re Not Paying Attention

  1. Well, we really can’t pay attention constantly to everything in the way you seem to be implying, because we just don’t have that awareness, and if we try we make ourselves sick from the stress.

    You’re making a lot of changes, and it’s okay to take the time to create new habits that will stick long-term … because that’s where habits excel. Suddenly, you don’t have to pay constant attention anymore because it’s just easier to do the new habit than the old.

    Habits are shifted by a deep change in perspective. And a change in perspective happens gradually, through education, right up to the point where it is suddenly in place like a great revelation or “aha!” moment.

    You can make it easier by hiding all the shoes except the running shoes, and such. But those are simply getting rid of the obstacles to your new habit until it feels natural. What I observe is that the health aspect actually shifts your perspective on everything quite naturally, from “no energy” to “I can do this”… So maybe the only habits you need to really pay close attention to are the health ones, first?

    If the house gets behind, maybe it’s just a sign that your health needs more attention? (I’ve figured out that’s what is true for me.) The solution isn’t paying more attention to the house … but fixing my health so the house is easier to do again.

    1. You’re right. I’m focusing on the mess in the kitchen because if its hard to find the healthy stuff, I eat the junk. And if the kitchens a mess, I just avoid going in there altogether. I need to go back to ground zero (post-surgery) and focus on my health. I also need to spend a bit of time on the house and remember to be creative. I just seem to have an all-or-nothing mentality when it comes to focus and projects. Thank you for “paying attention” and commenting. Life is so much better when I don’t feel alone!

      1. I ended up making a “just for me” shelf, full of my favorite healthy stuff. It saved me so often.
        You’ll figure it out. Let yourself have the time you need to get there.

  2. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. BOTH OF YOU!
    AND I was NOTICING how SVELTE you look. And YES I had to do spell check to spell it correctly. Baby steps sweet one, baby steps. XOXOXO I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

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