When I started documenting my personal journey towards a more intentional, simple and peaceful life on this blog, I had a vague idea of where I wanted to go.
I honestly had no idea what this blog might have to do with the journey. I felt a need to reach out in community and to find some like-minded individuals who might journey with me. I didn’t really have any expectations that anyone would “like” what I had to share or that anyone would “follow” me.
In fact, I thought quite the opposite – I couldn’t fathom that anyone would be interested in what I had to say. But I was afraid to start a blog, and facing fear was my challenge at the time…so I wrote. Some folks like what I have to say. Some have even chosen to hit “follow”. And I am grateful for the affirmation. I’ve gone to every blog and “met” the writer. I’m struck by the fact, that on the surface, many of us don’t seem to have much in common at all…not age, occupation, country, gender…nothing that commonly brings folks together.
But, we do have something important in common. We are all searchers and seekers with a belief that things can be better – and a desire to make it so. We are different and the same.
I had believed, in the beginning, that this blog would find a focus and generally tend towards one topic more than any others. That has not been the case. It reflects all the interests (and distractions) that make up my life.
I am deliberately not traveling down a straight highway for this journey. I want to walk off the beaten path and follow rabbit trails along the way. I want to believe that I am not too old to give up on dreams and aspirations. I want to continue to learn new things and make choices that bring me happiness and peace. I anticipate that I will make mistakes and more than a few choices that are not the right fit. I will become discouraged and disheartened.
And I will find joy and discover that I am capable of accomplishing things beyond what I expected.
That being said, many of the things I need to accomplish along the way are mundane, difficult and challenging. Not fun at all.
Sometimes solving one problem worsens another. It muddies the water. It makes it difficult to see that any progress is being made at all. It’s hard to remember to take a step back and regain perspective. To remember to focus on the whole journey and not just one portion of it. Sometimes I get lost or hit an unmovable obstacle and have to turn around and retrace my steps to find a new way – a way that takes me towards the goal. Sometimes it feels like I’m going the wrong direction entirely.
I’ve decided to create a plan – a sort of map that will help guide my journey. Sort of like a business plan, but not so boring. It will have to include pictures and colors and lists. Maybe a journal or a big canvas to hang on the wall. Just something to help when I can’t see clearly. A plan. In writing. That’s the next step. It probably should have been the first step, but….
I’ve brainstormed of list of things that need to be accomplished and/or that I want to explore during the next days, weeks, months, years… Remember, I’m brainstorming here! And, not in any particular order:
- Get out of debt and get our financial status on solid footing
- Continue de-cluttering until our home “feels right” and then maintain
- Continually evaluate our living space and whether it’s meeting our needs (size, location, etc.)
- Homeschooling my last kiddo and preparing her for life
- Explore gardening and self-sufficient living
- Art, art and more art – creating, sharing, exhibiting and selling????
- Improving and maintaining my health
- Contributing to making the world a better place
- Staying connected with family and friends
- Having more fun
- Work at being at peace with who I am and who I can become
- Letting go of fear
Not a complete list – I’m sure I’ll think of more.
A pause in the journey to let the muddied water settle. Then to continue on – one step at a time.
4 thoughts on “Muddying Up the Water”
Thank you dear Kelly, I know it’s one step at a time. Your post today reminded me to take one task at a time. I had started to try this idea a while age and started off pretty well, but the got off track. Just have to start again. I too miss you and your beautiful family and hope everyone is well💗
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Sigh. I know all about getting off track and starting again. Yea you for trying in the first place and for starting again and again. It’s all steps, right. Speaking of steps, I got 10,000 yesterday. All my fitbit buddies better get moving!
I’m inspired by your blog, to reevaluate my steps toward a more uncluttered life, to find more art, peace, order, love… It takes a great deal of courage to post your thoughts here daily. I then toward the negative these days and look forward to the positive days. I do praise God for opening this window.
Good to hear from you. Miss seeing you! I’m finding that being positive gets easier the more you practice it. I have to “stop” and think about my attitude a lot – and negativity is often my first reaction to situations. You said that you look forward to the positive days…maybe a positive “day” is too big a goal right now. I’ve had to really work on what I want to get done and what I can realistically do. Even on “bad” days there is a lot of good to be found. I love the words “focus” and “perspective”. As artists we understand those words and need to apply them to our lives. If something bad happens take another look from a different perspective. Is it bad or an opportunity for growth? Can you learn from it and make a change? Trust me, I know this stuff can be hard. I believe in you and love you. Hang in there!