I didn’t quite make it through all the paper yesterday, but at least it’s in two neat stacks instead of haphazard piles. I did sort out a bag to recycle. All the bills are in one place along with receipts ready to log into the budget. There is also a much smaller stack of scrapbook paper to use for art cards. Most of it went into the give-away box and some to my students.
What left last night:
- a bag full of paper recycle
- a stack of scrapbook paper for the thrift store
- a storage box that was emptied
- a stack of magazines
- two shirts from my winter box that I sorted out and put up
Today is a new day. I’m looking around and seeing the big picture or the big mess. Not in the best of moods. Its seems like progress is infinitesimal or non-existent. I think that I’m likely just in a down mood.
I took my husband to work and then stopped in Target to pick up a few things for my cleaning job tonight. I also wandered a bit looking at the new displays. I did see some stuff that I wanted (but didn’t need). The “what-ifs” started up in my head. You know – “if I had that I could….” – train of thought. That thing would make everything all better. I could use that for…
Then I thought of my new friend. The guy with the Mary Poppins backpack. The one that seemed to have everything he needed. And I realized that nothing I could buy in that store would make anything any better. I am the only one that can fix things.
It’s going to take more hard work and more decisions. I’m going to need to keep working at it – one pile at a time, one item at a time, one mess at a time. More things won’t fix anything. More things are the problem.
So, I’m back home. And I’ve found five things for today:
- a stuffed animal that was given to me out of love and I appreciate it very much. The love is staying, but the stuffed animal is going.
- two T-shirts that aren’t worn
- two more magazines that I haven’t had time to read. They may indeed contain information that might, maybe, change my life, but I know getting them out of here certainly will.
- another box of old business documents – the guest room isn’t totally a storage room anymore – there is bare floor in spots!
- an incomplete set of alphabet stencils. I have a new set. Why was I keeping the old ones?
Infinitesimal steps maybe. Barely moving forward maybe. But, at least moving. And I know that the decisions that I’m making are changing for the better. I didn’t buy anything today that I didn’t really need. I didn’t bring anything home that will leave in a future declutter. Things are getting better…slowly.
Bad moods happen and that’s okay. It’s not the end of the world and I’m not going to give up. I am going to give in a bit and rest and make some art cards.
I like life today. I don’t love it, but there is always tomorrow.
Visual artist playing with collage, assemblage and whatever else I imagine. Homemaker and homeschooling Mom of four children aged 10 to 24. Ready to fully embrace life and leave regret and fear behind. Each new day is an opportunity to love, create and live with intention...