I didn’t quite make it through all the paper yesterday, but at least it’s in two neat stacks instead of haphazard piles.  I did sort out a bag to recycle.  All the bills are in one place along with receipts ready to log into the budget.  There is also a much smaller stack of scrapbook paper to use for art cards.  Most of it went into the give-away box and some to my students.

What left last night:

  1. a bag full of paper recycle
  2. a stack of scrapbook paper for the thrift store
  3. a storage box that was emptied
  4. a stack of magazines
  5. two shirts from my winter box that I sorted out and put up

Today is a new day.  I’m looking around and seeing the big picture or the big mess.  Not in the best of moods.  Its seems like progress is infinitesimal or non-existent.  I think that I’m likely just in a down mood.

I took my husband to work and then stopped in Target to pick up a few things for my cleaning job tonight.  I also wandered a bit looking at the new displays.  I did see some stuff that I wanted (but didn’t need).  The “what-ifs” started up in my head.  You know – “if I had that I could….” – train of thought.  That thing would make everything all better.  I could use that for…

Then I thought of my new friend.  The guy with the Mary Poppins backpack.  The one that seemed to have everything he needed.  And I realized that nothing I could buy in that store would make anything any better.  I am the only one that can fix things.

It’s going to take more hard work and more decisions.  I’m going to need to keep working at it – one pile at a time, one item at a time, one mess at a time.  More things won’t fix anything.  More things are the problem.

So, I’m back home.  And I’ve found five things for today:

  1. a stuffed animal that was given to me out of love and I appreciate it very much.  The love is staying, but the stuffed animal is going.
  2. two T-shirts that aren’t worn
  3. two more magazines that I haven’t had time to read.  They may indeed contain information that might, maybe, change my life, but I know getting them out of here certainly will.
  4. another box of old business documents – the guest room isn’t totally a storage room anymore – there is bare floor in spots!
  5. an incomplete set of alphabet stencils.  I have a new set.  Why was I keeping the old ones?

Infinitesimal steps maybe.  Barely moving forward maybe.  But, at least moving.  And I know that the decisions that I’m making are changing for the better.  I didn’t buy anything today that I didn’t really need.  I didn’t bring anything home that will leave in a future declutter.  Things are getting better…slowly.

Bad moods happen and that’s okay.  It’s not the end of the world and I’m not going to give up.  I am going to give in a bit and rest and make some art cards.

I like life today.  I don’t love it, but there is always tomorrow.


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