So much time has passed. With every day that goes by it gets harder and harder to write again. The perfectionist in me knows that I can’t catch up and share everything that I’ve been meaning to write. The writer in me just wants to put the words down and hit enter.
So, today we will let the writer, the artist, the imperfect work in progress win out and just start again…
What has happened? A lot and nothing much. The increased meds for anxiety did nothing to help the problem, but only compounded it. I was so sleepy that I could barely stay awake. In fact, while waiting at the outpatient surgery center while my sister had eye surgery, I actually slept curled up in a chair for almost two hours. I’m really hoping I didn’t snore! Because I was so tired, I didn’t get much done and that just made me even more stressed.
In trying to cope, I just jumped on the big hamster wheel of life and started running – trying to keep up with life and maybe make a bit of progress. That never works out well. All you end up doing is going through the motions without really seeing or living or feeling anything much at all. Not much joy in that.
Wow, that all seems very depressing and that’s not the case at all. It hasn’t all been bad, but it also hasn’t been very intentional.
Life has been okay – happy and sad, successful and unsuccessful, done and undone – just normal life.
But, I am searching for more than normal. Today, I read something that made me stop running on that wheel and refocus:
I encourage to read the whole article, but in short, ask yourself, “Why do I have this?” Such a simple question, but the answers are so important when making decisions about what to keep and what to let go.
Answers like “I use it”, “it makes me smile” or “I am working on an art project that I need it for” tell me that it should stay.
Answers like “I thought it would make the living room look better”, “I’m going to organize stuff in it” or “it was a gift” tell me something else entirely.
I’ve already pitched a big trash bag of stuff today and filled a give-away box.
The studio re-do is still in progress, but wasn’t completed in January like we’d hoped. All overtime was cut at my husband’s job. Ouch! We can make it on his regular income and my part-time jobs, but that’s about it. No extras. Still, it’s progress and overall, much roomier and functional. The dream and the plan are still in the works. It will get done.
Now, I’m off to declutter, homeschool, and start an art project. I think it’s time to play with some paper and glue!
I’m definitely going to take a moment to stop running, breathe deeply, take in the view and enjoy life! I hope that you can do the same.