Do not be afraid. This is not going to be a whiny, woe-is-me posting (although I’m kind of perched on the edge right now).
I know I have a good life. I can look up towards those that appear financially more stable and down towards those that are struggling much more than I am. That means that I am somewhere in the middle.
As I sit in front of my tiny fan writing this post, I am contemplating the arrival of my new window air-conditioning unit that will be in place by this evening. The tiny fan is doing it’s very best…spinning it’s little tiny blades as quickly as physics will allow. It’s hot as hell in here. I’ll live and these couple of days will make me even more appreciative once the cool air is blowing once again.
Brainstorming, debate, research, numbers-crunching, and realism have allowed us to figure out a way to make it through the summer…without accruing any debt.
A central AC unit is out of the question. We really wanted to put in ductless air conditioning units sometimes known as “splits”. They are energy efficient and allow for zone cooling which is good for our really big house and fluctuating body count. Alas, they are out of our price range (for now) and require some construction time. Stress is pretty high around here and the home projects never-ending. I voted against any more to-do’s on my poor husbands list. He has enough projects to keep him busy without adding any more.
We played with numbers and re-arranged the budget in such a way that this window unit purchase is feasible. Who needs groceries? The fridge and pantry are full and the family has all voted to eat what we’ve got while being cool rather than eat what we want in the heat. That was actually not a hard decision. With the new window unit, two portable units that we have and the gifted air conditioner on its way, we can cool the whole house!
I’m proud of the fact that we worked through this problem and found a solution that didn’t involve any more debt. We’ve have made so much progress in so many ways.
Still, life can be hard sometimes. It’s so easy to see the things that are undone and to get weary. It’s easy to be overwhelmed by situations and to want to give up or to give into the frustration. Gratitude can be hard to come by.
It’s important for me to count the little “wins” and to practice patience.
I want it all now: cool air to flow out of the vents, the bathroom put back together, the debt paid off, the new floor finished, the painting done, the yard cleared, the decluttering done…
I want life to be easy and perfect.
Then I look around at the rest of the world and feel ashamed and guilty.
Life is not easy and I am not perfect.
All I can do is take one more step in the right direction. I may pause or stop after that one step and shed a tear or two. I may lose my cool and yell at someone I love.
I will apologize and pick myself up and take another step.
Things will get done and fixed. Something else will need to be done and something else will break.
One step…a lot of hugs.
Decluttered yesterday and today:
- a hand soap dispenser
- a contractor size bag of construction by-products off of the back deck
- a bucket
- a hose reel
- a laundry hamper
- two empty plastic storage bins
- a pair of jeans
- the bird’s nest off of the top of the cabinet from last spring https://faithacrestudio.com/2015/03/27/a-bird-in-the-hand/
- the cabinet that held the bird’s nest (one more step in the kitchen redo
- a stand for holding fireplace tools – all the tools have disappeared and we don’t use the fireplace