Some days, I’m ready to take on the world. I work the budget, earn a bit of money, do a few dishes, get a meal on the table, run the laundry, teach my kid(s) a thing or two, and watch a show with the hubby on T.V.
Some days, the world takes me on. I manage to get out of bed….that’s about it. There isn’t any more happening.
What’s the difference in those two types of days you may be wondering. Hmmmm…me too. I have no clue. It doesn’t seem to be the amount of sleep I get or the events of the day. The stress level doesn’t appear to change significantly.
Some days, I get it done.
Other days, I don’t.
Sometimes, I even manage to make it through the list of to-do’s that I’ve planned for myself. It seems to take all of my energy and concentration to accomplish that though. I’m more easily distracted and less inclined to do anything extra – like decluttering or being creative.
I’ve decided that those days are okay. And I’m learning to accept myself as I am and acknowledge that it’s alright that I’m not able to do it all. I am my own worst critic and project those expectations onto those around. When I’m frustrated with myself for not being “good” enough, I start to believe that everyone around me is expecting better of me as well. I feel guilty and get defensive. Then I get stressed and angry. Then I yell.
One of the things that I’m working on is not trying to figure our what everyone around me is thinking and feeling all the time. That’s not my job. I know that behavior is rooted in a childhood of angry parents and constant discord.
I need to feel my own emotions and let others work out their own feelings. If I have a problem with me than I need to work on that. If someone else has a problem with me, they need to express it and we need to work on it.
Some days I just feel overwhelmed by the stress I’m dealing with. I’m coming to believe that a lot of that stress is self-initiated. I’m creating it by having unrealistic expectations of my own making.
It all boils down to being kinder…to myself and those around me.
I am a work in progress.
Decluttered the last couple of days: nothing.
Created the last few days: nothing.
That’s okay. I’ve spent time with family, shown up for jury duty, cooked three full meals, cleaned the toilet, done 5 loads of laundry, said yes to my son adopting a dog, let said dog in and out 3,000 times, fed said dog 300 times, mopped up said dog’s sloppy water drinking puddles too many times to count, worked on math with youngest daughter, and written one blog post.
I hope that you gift yourself some peace today. We are enough, we have enough, we do enough.