I woke up this morning wishing, once again, that I could hit the pause button. I started off the week with what I thought was a reasonable list of things to do. I have been accused of being unrealistic in my expectations in the past…with good reason. I’ll freely admit that I’m a perfectionist although I’ve been working on being a kinder and gentler me.
This was just one of those weeks where the interruptions became the real work to be done.
What I failed to do was realize the amount of unplanned stuff happening and adjusting my expectations.
This morning I was thinking about what I hadn’t gotten done and not what did get done.
This intentional living stuff can be hard. It requires diligence, optimism, and a lot of thought.
Mostly it requires a lot of change…a change in attitude, as well as behavior.
Perhaps it can be summed up as learning to be flexible as I change my expectations in alignment with what’s going on around me.
This week four people had to go to work at different places and different times. We had one car since the truck was still in the shop. I did quite a bit of driving to and fro. We made it work, but it took a lot of time. With patience and planning this is a workable situation.
On Wednesday, I was awakened early by my son with the news that he had “rolled” his ankle and it was very, very swollen. I told him to prop it up for a bit and we’d see if the swelling would go down. Then I fell back asleep and failed to wake up in time to go help my sister shop. Next up, a doctor’s appointment and x-rays. The ankle is not broken. This is not actually good news. Breaks heal more easily than whatever is wrong. Monday is an orthopedic appointment and probably and MRI. Not a good day.
On Thursday morning we were able to pick up our truck. Yea!
On Thursday night the key to our other car broke. Our only key. Not good….at all. One place wanted almost $200 to make a new key. Another would make it cheaper but required a copy of the title (which I can’t find because the house is a bit untidy and disorganized).
On Friday, the truck would not go into gear properly. Now we have no transportation.And everybody needs to go to work…
Husband manages to get the truck to the repair shop. It turns out that the cardboard seal on the bottle of transmission fluid ended up in “the thingie that holds the stuff that feeds the something that makes the transmission work”. I am not mechanically inclined. That’s the best I’ve got as far as what was wrong. An easy fix. Anyway, the truck is running beautifully.
Oldest daughter found a place to make a key for the other car for only $5. Now both cars are running. This is very helpful!
This was a challenging week. The Christmas tree is still not up. I’ve not shopped much for Christmas. A LOT of things that I wanted to get done are undone.
There have been a lot of times when I’ve felt frustrated and angry…with myself. How can a reasonably competent grown-up find it so difficult to keep up with a house and family? This thinking is not helpful. It just piles on more stress and makes it even more difficult to cope.
I did accomplish a lot this week…just not the things I had planned on. The emergencies got handled. Three big bags of stuff left the house. The studio is unpacked and organized(ish). The hallway/classroom is set up and workable. Progress has been made in laying the new floor in the apartment. (I didn’t actually do any of the work on the floor other than moving stuff out of the way.) We did a lot of school work. Everyone got fed and has some clean clothes.
I’m starting up the decluttering project in earnest again. There is just too much stuff around here.
The laundry piles up at an alarming rate. We have too many clothes.
I’ve once again slowly accumulated to many art project “possibilities”. More material doesn’t translate into more art.
The same goes for school stuff. It’s so easy to gather too many potential things to study and learn.
This is all part of my unrealistic expectations. There are only so many hours in the day and they cannot all be spent in action. I need to quit trying to “get it all done”. This attitude is not helpful.
There will always be something that needs to be done.
I can’t do it all.
The important work to be done is to more intentionally seek out simplicity, peace and joy.
That must be number one on the list…