It’s been a while.
I haven’t wanted to write very often and when I did, I couldn’t.
This has probably been the worst I’ve ever been.
It hasn’t all been bad, of course. It’s honestly been a roller coaster ride. Bad and good. Highs and lows. Fun times and disasters (literally). We’ve had hurricanes, a Carnival cruise, new health issues for my sister, unimproved health issues of my own, a worsening financial situation, unemployment and job searches, and car troubles. Some of it was our life, some of it our children’s. All of it managed to bring forth a serious depression that I am just now dragging myself out of.
There are, of course, a lot of stories to be found in the past several weeks (or is it months?), but it is late and I need to sleep.
Suffice it to say that I have been very lost. So lost that I was not sure that I would find myself again. I couldn’t write. In fact, there were days I couldn’t think my way through the most basic of activities.
There were even days when I didn’t care if I made it through the day. I didn’t care about anything. I especially didn’t care about myself.
I felt nothing and everything.
As with most challenging times, lessons can be learned. Experience is the best teacher or so I’ve heard.
Over the last couple of days, I seem to be in an upswing. During the times that I did feel a sense of hope, I’ve continued to research my current health issues that I am coming to believe are all related. I think stress is a common denominator and still believe that diet is key to resolving a lot of what is going on.
I’ve started a journal of sorts that chronicles what I’m eating, exercise, stress, and mood swings. It will be interested to see if a pattern emerges.
I have been lost and not for the first time.
But today, for the first time in a long while, I believe that I can find the answers I am looking for.
And so the journey continues…and so does this blog.