It’s been a while.
I haven’t wanted to write very often and when I did, I couldn’t.
This has probably been the worst I’ve ever been.
It hasn’t all been bad, of course. It’s honestly been a roller coaster ride. Bad and good. Highs and lows. Fun times and disasters (literally). We’ve had hurricanes, a Carnival cruise, new health issues for my sister, unimproved health issues of my own, a worsening financial situation, unemployment and job searches, and car troubles. Some of it was our life, some of it our children’s. All of it managed to bring forth a serious depression that I am just now dragging myself out of.
There are, of course, a lot of stories to be found in the past several weeks (or is it months?), but it is late and I need to sleep.
Suffice it to say that I have been very lost. So lost that I was not sure that I would find myself again. I couldn’t write. In fact, there were days I couldn’t think my way through the most basic of activities.
There were even days when I didn’t care if I made it through the day. I didn’t care about anything. I especially didn’t care about myself.
I felt nothing and everything.
As with most challenging times, lessons can be learned. Experience is the best teacher or so I’ve heard.
Over the last couple of days, I seem to be in an upswing. During the times that I did feel a sense of hope, I’ve continued to research my current health issues that I am coming to believe are all related. I think stress is a common denominator and still believe that diet is key to resolving a lot of what is going on.
I’ve started a journal of sorts that chronicles what I’m eating, exercise, stress, and mood swings. It will be interested to see if a pattern emerges.
I have been lost and not for the first time.
But today, for the first time in a long while, I believe that I can find the answers I am looking for.
And so the journey continues…and so does this blog.
Visual artist playing with collage, assemblage and whatever else I imagine. Homemaker and homeschooling Mom of four children aged 10 to 24. Ready to fully embrace life and leave regret and fear behind. Each new day is an opportunity to love, create and live with intention...