Earlier this year, I found myself with quite a lot of “free” time.
My family was busy doing “essential” work out in the world.
And I suddenly wasn’t doing much of anything. It was interesting and thought provoking to find that I wasn’t technically “essential”.
Distractions from the outside world slowed as the world hit the pause button.
There was no “going” or “doing” just to go or do. Errands had more purpose and were completed without dilly-dallying.
I’m not a social butterfly in the best of times, and now there was no social at all.
I started to realize how much of my time was spent in the coming and going and doing that made up my life and my days.
When it just stopped, I had time to reflect on how unintentional it all was.
I had been trying to live a more intentional life and never actually paused to examine how busy I was …trying to not be so busy.
It was reminiscent of a successful de-cluttering day when I got done and saw that all the storage bins and containers I had purchased to manage the stuff were actually a good portion of the stuff.
Trying so hard to be intentional was taking a lot of time and effort.
I gathered all those books that had been waiting on the shelf and began flipping through them: self-help, devotional, journaling, art inspiration…
I started journaling again using pens, paint, glue, magazine images and all the other supplies that had been patiently waiting for me to find time. Suddenly time had found me.
I realized that journaling makes me feel really happy and it brings me a feeling of peace like nothing else can.
I love the feeling of a scribbled and crumpled notebook under my hand…
the sensation of words flowing from my head onto the paper page…
the bulk of a journal filled to capacity with stapled in articles and taped-in images being placed on a shelf alongside a sketch book holding pages covered in collage and paint.
the gathering of thoughts, ideas, inspiration and snippets of things that are interesting and important to me.
I love the intentionality of it all.
Somehow, as the world speeds back up again, I need to remember this time and hold onto it.
I am grateful for it.