“Every mind is a clutter of memories, images, inventions and age-old repetitions. It can be a ghetto, too, if a ghetto is a sealed-off, confined place. Or a sanctuary, where one is free to dream and think whatever one wants. For most of us it’s both – and a lot more complicated.” Margo Jefferson
I came upon this quote a few days ago while browsing for quotes to use on my art cards and such.
It has stuck in my head and bounced around in there and provided me with much fodder for thought as I pondered why I found it so intriguing.
Several blog posts about it have been started and abandoned since.
Obviously, more thinking was required…
Today, I realized, is Friday and I had promised my daughter that I would do a journal page. We actually mutually committed and challenged ourselves to create one page each week.
As I was working on this page (using stuff found on the floor of my studio)
all the thoughts about the quote came together and the meaning (for me) became clear.
You know, one of those “aha” moments when something perfectly obvious actually becomes obvious…
I’m complicated and a mass of contradictions…which does not make me unique because the same can be said of everybody…
But, I am a uniquely complicated mass of contradictions unlike everyone else in the way that I am a complicated mass of contradictions.
Yes, I know…complicated.
I continually struggle with reconciling the conflicting aspects of my personality.
Am I a minimalist or a bohemian when it comes to decorating? I seem to de-clutter and then re-clutter in an endless cycle.
Can you be a vegan who longs for bacon? I mean, can you really love Esther the Wonder Pig (www.estherthewonderpig.com) and buy an Easter ham for your family?
and so on and so forth…
And what happens when reality collides with the ideals?
When neither the minimalist room or the cluttered room provide a home…
when perceived open-mindedness is revealed to be less than true…
when dreams wither and are lost because perfection inhibits their development
Then form has become more important than function and appearance becomes more significant than the goal.
I am a work in progress.
I am a story still being written and a canvas still being created.
I am my past, my present and my future.
Sometimes I huddle in the dark, afraid and sometimes I embrace the light and move forwards and often take a wrong turn and get lost.
Who I am right now will not be who I am when this post is finished.
The journey I am on requires patience and grace and acceptance.
Patience with my inconsistencies and missteps,
grace for the fear and failures,
acceptance of my limitations.
We are all glorious creations who should find joy in this messy, complicated journey that we travel.
And I hope that we all, with patience, grace and acceptance, find peace along the way.