The Throw Pillow

I went to Wal-Mart today with my sister.  I had a list of things I needed – things I really needed like laundry detergent.

It’s Mother’s Day (so therefore, I deserve a gift, right?)

I saw this pillow.  I was drawn to this pillow – the color and the textures.  Without thinking, I put this pillow in my cart.

And then froze.  And spent a considerable amount of time thinking about this pillow and it’s place in my life.  More time than I am comfortable with.  Here’s a few of those thoughts:

  • I want it
  • it would look great in my new colorful living room
  • I have throw pillow covers from Ikea that I loved when I bought them unpacked in a box waiting for the right spot to be used
  • it will probably end up on the floor with dog hair on it
  • it’s really pretty
  • it’s made in China and I don’t know the conditions it was manufactured in
  • it’s probably made of re-purposed fabrics
  • since it’s made in China, it’s probably a ripped-off copy of something hand-crafted that is too expensive for me to afford
  • it’s affordable (less than $16)
  • it’s probably a ripped-off copy of someone’s original idea
  • I could use that $16 to make an additional payment on a debt
  • still really like the pillow and want it
  • it’s not crafted all that well
  • sigh, deep sigh

I took the pillow out of my cart.  I also took out the $15 worth of craft paper that I just know I could make something really great out of.  My studio is still pretty much packed up and I don’t have a purpose for it right now.  It would go into the “potential use” pile  and I have plenty of that kind of stuff already.

To be honest, my sister then took me to Michael’s and I bought two items that will provide me with hours of crafting/art enjoyment using supplies that I already have (one on clearance that I’ve been watching for a while and the other using a 40% off coupon).  Less expensive than the pillow and paper.

Not a total win, but in the end I’ll have something homemade to decorate my home with rather than a mass-produced pillow that I really don’t need.  I’ll have had the fun of making something and that makes me happy.

Happier than picking up a throw pillow off of the floor and wondering why I even bought it 6 months from now.

Shopping used to be thoughtless and “fun” – until the bills came due.  Now it’s rather like hard work.

Progress!

 

 

The Return of the Crud

I felt sooooo much better yesterday.  I got quite a lot done.  I made big plans for today.

Today, the “crud” returned.  Maybe the cold is gone and allergies have flared up.  The first cedar pollen bud watchers have reported that the buds are popping.  Yes, the allergies are so bad here that we have folks who watch out for this sort of thing.

In any case, the fever is back.  I lay down for a short rest and slept 3 hours.  Nothing much was accomplished…

– other than some school catch-up.

Math is killing us.  We just aren’t making noticeable progress.  I have a pretty stubborn kiddo and if I hear, “I hate Math” one more time…

I’m going to sweetly suggest that we give it another go.  Maybe.

I did spend some time reading blogs about folks who are decluttering and simplifying and reducing waste and growing and cooking all their own food.  No waste. No additives.  All from scratch.  While chopping their own firewood for the stove in the home they built themselves.  With their children who are already doing advanced calculus in 3rd grade.  After hiking in Nepal for summer break.  And making their own laundry detergent to wash their clothes that they make themselves – 100% cotton, of course.

I’m not judging.  More power to them!  I’d be right there with them if I could figure it out.  If I could declutter enough stuff.  If I could get out of debt.  If I had started 30 years ago. If I could remember to water the plants right by my front door, much less grow a garden.  If I didn’t take a 3 hour nap.  If.

But hey!  I’m in a better place right now than I was a year ago.  I’ve paid down over $2000.00 on our debt.  Loads of stuff has left and I’m not hauling it in anymore.  I’m not “running with the crowd” anymore without trying to be more intentional.

I’m thinking about it.

I’m trying.

I’m learning to be “me” and live my own life –

with what I have to work with.

More power to me!

Gone today:

  1. a piece of wall art
  2. two sweaters – one of which makes me look like a melting snowman.
  3. a worn-out pair of p.j. pants
  4. used up some hand-made paper that has been waiting around for years for the “perfect” project.  turned it into guerilla art cards
  5. 11 small bottles of colored glue leftover from an art class and the plastic box they are stored in.