Doors

I took a shower today.  I woke up this morning and realized that I couldn’t actually remember the last one I took.  To be honest, days around here are a bit confused anyway. Too much T.V. and morphine (my sister, not me).  I’m thinking about getting one of those little whiteboards like they use in the hospital…Today is Saturday, August 27, 2016.

Anyway, I took a shower.  Please don’t judge.  Some days we have to grab the small wins and run with them…

Now, I’m thinking about doors.  This was prompted by a Caring Bridge post by a friend with stage IV colon cancer.  She just found out that she wasn’t accepted into a drug trial that she was hoping for.  “No further information.  Just a closed door”, she wrote.

I’m thinking about the slammed, closed and locked doors that I’ve faced in my past. About the disbelief, grief and pain those door have caused.  The teen-age crush that didn’t work out.  The job that I didn’t get.  The phone call that never came.  The dream that wasn’t realized.

I’m wondering how many times I accepted that unopened door as a permanent “no”.  The times I didn’t go looking for a different door.  A different way to access that dream.

And, I’m pondering the times I did look for an alternative route and a different portal.  Or sometimes the opportunities that I didn’t actively seek, but that presented themselves with time and patience.  The man I married, a different job…

Looking back, some of those closed doors were a blessing in disguise.  I wouldn’t have believed it at the time, but now it’s evident.  The teen-age crush that was based more on looks than compatibility.  The job that would have involved moving to another location and would have prevented me from being available for my sister now.

But doors that don’t open hurt when you run into them.  Sometimes, in hindsight, it may turn out to be for the best.  And sometimes, it may turn out that they were just stupid, closed doors that you  couldn’t get through.  You may never know the difference.

Still, there is hope in believing that there are many doors in life,  and most of them can be opened – with time, patience and discernment.

Today I will be in continued thought and prayer for those dealing with doorways…

Those standing at locked doors and looking for the next one.

Those hurt from the slamming of the door.

Those facing a door that is slowing closing and limiting their access both literally and figuratively.

Those locked behind a door wanting out but afraid and unsure of the next step.

Those who don’t have any doors available to them at all.

Those who can’t see the door because they don’t know where to look or are choosing not to.

And those standing in front of the door, but who are afraid to knock.

 

If you can’t say something nice…

Maybe I’m just listening for it, but lately there seems to be an overabundance of “not nice” out there in the world.

I was at Sonic (a drive-in/carhop style restaurant for those unfortunates who don’t have access to the best crushed ice ever!) last night and a guy was shouting into the intercom the most complicated burger order ever heard.  It’s a burger!  How complicated does it need to be?  If you need five hamburgers and every single one of them is weird and specialized maybe you should just eat at home?

What you shouldn’t do is yell at the person who is trying to take your order over an intercom at a restaurant that is on a busy highway during rush hour.  Maybe a little patience is in order for your order.

Yea, there are some people that are truly not doing a competent job and I understand the frustration when you are having to deal with them, but is it that hard to be kind?  Maybe they are having a horrible day…maybe they are just idiots…I don’t know, but neither does the jerk ordering the burgers.

In any case, getting angry and sharing the anger with everyone within earshot didn’t help the situation at all.

What is our obsession with being right?  With carrying on a discussion/arguement until we win?  Some things are worth standing your ground for.  Most things aren’t.

I’m not talking about being a doormat and letting people walk all over you, but about just being nice…kind…thoughtful.  Realizing that you aren’t the only person on the planet – that the world doesn’t revolve around you.

I was goofing around in a store a while back – bantering with my sister.  We weren’t holding up the line or bothering anyone.  A guy shouted across the parking lot to me as we were loading up our groceries…”Why don’t you try acting your age instead of your I.Q.?”  Really?

I carried around that hurt for quite a while.  I know I should have just shrugged it off and called the guy a jerk – or explained that my I.Q. has been tested quite high, for all the good it’s done me.   Instead I suppressed tears and questioned my behavior.  That’s my reaction to hurtful and unthoughtfull words and I know that it’s my problem to deal with.  But, perhaps, I’m not unique in that thought process.

I know that I’ve been working hard at being kinder to people all around me:  checkers at the grocery store, waitresses, even smiles at people I walk by.   If constructive criticism is necessary, I’ve been working on throwing in a positive comment as well. What might the world be like if we all just stopped and realized that we are all just people trying to live our lives –  dealing with problems and fighting battles that nobody else knows about.

What if we just all started saying “Hi”, “Good Job!”, “Thank You” and “Can I help you with that?”…

That’s it…sermon over for the day.

And I really do hope that today, someone says something nice to you – or doesn’t say anything at all.

How to Stop a Ginormous Rock Rolling Downhill

I just love the word “ginormous”.

So I figured out a way to use it in a really long title today.

But, I digress.

What I’m really thinking about today is change.  Some folks say that all change is good.  Some of us greatly fear it.  Most of us resist change.

I struggle to be at peace with it.

Regardless of how anyone feels about change or how hard we try to stop it, change happens.

And thank goodness for that.  I, for one, am a big fan of the wheel, written language, electricity, air-conditioning, pre-stretched canvas, and that I don’t have to wear a corset or hoop-skirt.   Cake mixes also.

Not everyone will agree on the cake mix thing, but they’ve never tried my scratch-made cakes.  Nobody has.  Because I’ve never made one.  Honestly,  I don’t even get the box mix thing.  My grocery store’s bakery does an excellent job.  Why strive to achieve out of my comfort zone?

But my Mom thought the boxed cake mix signaled the end of civilization as she knew it.  She refused for the longest time to use one.  She didn’t actually like to bake all that much though, so we just didn’t have cake.

My youngest child doesn’t even realize that there was a time before boxed cake mix…and can’t comprehend a time before electricity.  The power went off the other day, and she just about lost it.  Life was over as she knew it.

Change happens.

You can run from it, ignore it, and try to stop it.

You can yell at it and everyone who is trying to promote it.

Change happens.

It’s called history…and the future.

Instead of trying to stop that ginormous rock of change from rolling downhill –  get out of its way,  ’cause it’s not going to stop.

Take a picture of it if you need to .  Then you’ll have something to look at and remember the time before the change.  You might be shocked  and a bit bewildered to find that you survived it and that the world did not end.  You might even come to like it (or at least tolerate it).

I don’t think that change, in itself, is either good or bad.  It just is.

Change that benefits me, may not be so great for someone else.  A change that you desperately hope for, may adversely affect others.

The Dark ages came and went.  Yea for the Renaissance!  World Wars – not so great.  Peace – awesome!  Lessons are learned.  Newborns are amazing, but not forever (I like to sleep).  Toddlers can be fun.  Then they toddle on to the next stage and we are grateful and a bit sad.  I grow older – and hopefully, wiser.

Perhaps one day, we will all become wiser.  And, realize that fear and yelling and fighting do nothing to change things.  The change is unaffected by our fear.  That big ole’ rock keeps rolling.

Maybe love is the only answer.  Love those who are fearing the changes.  Love those who are hurt by the changes.  Love those who are working hard to change things for the better.  Love those for whom change is not coming fast enough.

Just love.