Happy New Year!
The New Beginning
Well, here is yesterday’s journal page where I began to work out the details of my New Year slogan that I wrote about yesterday:
Yep, that didn’t go so well.
Here’s what happened…
In celebration of the success that was our Christmas Day, I decided to take a short nap.
I define success by reaching the conclusion of a big holiday event without verbal disagreements evolving into a physical altercation.
If there is more than one person present in the house during a major holiday, I feel this is a somewhat hopeful goal, but probably doable.
I don’t like to set the bar too high.
I avoid all possible Christmas advertisements featuring magical Christmas festivities or any sappy Christmas movies that feature perfection as their story-line. I have found that these are not representative of real life. I personally like Chevy Chase’s Christmas Vacation. I believe it to be a realistic goal to strive for.
Anyway, I decided to reward myself with a nap. That fit within the parameters of my New Year Plan, right?
Taking a nap in this house yesterday was akin to meditating on the Titanic. It wasn’t a complete waste of time, but it wasn’t very successful either. Between the telephone calls, the knock on the door, the barking dogs, the dog fight over the plastic container of leftovers stolen from the counter, and the set of cabinet doors that got knocked down during said fight…it took almost 3 hours to get 30 minutes of sleep.
The journal page did not get done.
I did think about it though.
Points for me!
I woke up this morning in a determined and optimistic mood. Today was a new day. The journal page beckoned!
Then there was the bad tire on the truck. Oh yea, and the missing key-lock that allows one to access the spare tire on the truck. No access to the spare. Great for theft protection. Not so great when husband needs to be at work in an hour…and work is 45 minutes away.
And the missing keys to the other car. They have since been located…in Houston in my daughter’s car. Not helpful at all.
Today will be a day to be a taxi service. Unless I can journal while driving, it is unlikely that the page will get done today either.
It’s a good thing that I started my New Year a week early.
At this rate, I just might get started before 2018 arrives.
Sometimes when I am going about my day, this blog writes itself in my head. It’s not a planned thing. The words just start appearing. And then they start multiplying and rearranging themselves in proper order.
Sometimes there is a rabbit trail of thought which I store for another day. Sometimes I remember the alternate post, but sometimes not. I don’t worry too much about it.
I’m learning to trust the process and believe that the important stuff will reappear at the appropriate time. I rarely sit down without a piece already started in my head, but do occasionally if nothing has presented itself for a while.
I think those times of writing “drought” may be an indication that I’m too busy and not listening to myself…not allowing enough time for thoughts and dreams and ideas…or that they are being drowned out by too much busyness and reality.
And that thought has led me inadvertently to my slogan, theme, or plan for the next year…
I started making an intentional focus for the new year a couple of years ago.
The first idea was “to be the change I wished to see in my world”.
Last year was “turn my cants into cans and my dreams into plans”.
This year I think I’m going with “Re-think, Re-imagine, and Reflect.
These are the words that have been running through my head the last couple of days.
Now I have the words I’m going to use. The exact details aren’t clear, but I’m going to spend some time with a journal this week and think about and imagine the possibilities…
As for today, I’ve decided to start my new year now.
It is a beautiful day…warm and spring-like…it feels like a beginning.
The bees are busily buzzing on my front porch looking for any jasmine flowers that made it through the last freeze.
Lots and lots of tiny birds are flying from a thicket that edges my yard to the bird feeder hanging by my front window.
As I was standing quietly on the porch the bees and birds flew past me going about their business. The buzzing bees and humming wings were the only sounds I heard.
How many times have I missed this scene outside my own door?
How many times has the noise of my life been all that I’ve heard?
It bothers me that my focus is so much on what is going on right around me and that I don’t spend enough time looking and listening and being still…
Today is a new day.
It’s a good day for beginning anew…for thinking, imagining and reflecting.
Today will be spent creating order from the chaos that is leftover from the Christmas festivities and creating pages in a new journal.
Today will be spent ridding myself of some clutter…both physical and mental.
Today will be spent in some busyness and some idleness.
Today I am giving myself permission to waste away the day in miscellaneous tasks.
Quite a few of my chairs (of the dining room and desk variety) have seen better days and I lucked into a lot of 3 sturdy and cheap replacements at the thrift store the other day. As a result there is now a plethora of seating options laying about in my dining room. Picture a hoarders’ assortment and you get the idea. On most days there are four of us around the table. On weekends and other gathering days there can be as many as twelve. Then there is the classroom which requires two at the school table and two at my studio table. Today I am sorting through and picking out the best in need of no repair, discarding those beyond hope, and working on those that are in between. Glue, paint, new woven seats for the ladderbacks and we are good to go. I think 10 is a good number. They can move between the dining room and classroom/studio. We’ll never need them in both places at once. Desk chairs can fill in for a crowd. So, a fun task – making the old look new again – or at least eclectic and fun.
Then, I’m working on the odd bits of unfinished projects that I sorted out a while back. Finish them or let them go…that’s the plan for today. Quite a few supplies are stacked about with each unfinished project. This should free up the supplies to go back into their storage containers. My desks will be freed up for new projects that are lurking in my head. The whole cycle can start up again, BUT I’m hoping that I’ve made enough progress that I’ll stay on task better and not jump from idea to idea. I’ve set up a tidy little space for journaling ideas so I don’t have to worry about “losing” them until I can begin work on them.
I’m also hemming some fabric from IKEA that got hung as curtains without actually ever being completed. I don’t imagine that many others have noticed that they were unfinished, but I did every time I glanced their way. It will be good to see a finished project instead of an incomplete one.
Lots of little (ish) tasks, but most of them fun and creative. I imagine that quite a lot of cleaning and de-cluttering will get done along the way. Once new chairs are in the dining room, I’ll want to clear surfaces. Once the surfaces are clear, I’ll probably want to sweep and mop the floor…and so on and so on.
The list is pitched for the day in order to get this all done. I’m struggling quite a bit with anxiety and the resulting sadness lately. I don’t know exactly what’s going on, but it’s really wearing me down. I’m hoping that completing some of these tasks and adding in the creative element will give me a sense of completion and forward progress.
I’d really just like to take a nap.