Today is Friday, Right?

What do you mean it’s Saturday?

I’ve been really tired the last few days…so tired that I’ve given into the urge to nap.  I just haven’t been able to make it through the day.  The one day that I didn’t nap and wake up naturally (without the aid of the alarm), I was most unpleasant by evening.

Youngest daughter has been battling a cold or serious allergies.  In this part of Central Texas, it’s hard to tell which and I don’t suppose it really matters what you call it.  When you don’t feel good, you don’t feel good.

It’s possible that I am falling victim to the same malady.  Or it’s possible that I have some sort of cyclical mood disorder that is causing the tiredness.

Once again, I don’t suppose it really matters what you call it…

Learning to listen to what my body and moods are telling me has been hard.  I was raised to bravely soldier on through “twelve foot of snow”, injury, and illness.  Naps were frowned upon and illness had to be serious if you were to stay home from school.  I once went to school for two days with a broken arm until my Mom decided that maybe something really was wrong.  I’m not knocking my upbringing…they were who they were and did the best they could.  I survived.

But, resting when I’m tired and letting go of expectations for those days is something I’m learning to do.

So, today feels like Friday and that’s okay, right?  Some creativity took place and some decluttering got done.

Learning to take care of myself (without guilt) is part of the journey too.

Every day doesn’t have to be my best day yet.  Some days can be just average or complete washouts in terms of things accomplished.

Not every action can be quantified.  Sometimes no action can be the best course of action.  These are hard lessons, but definitely worth learning.

Here’s Friday’s photo:0611160947 (1)(Posting these is a bit like posting a naked picture of myself.  I did not anticipate that.  Posting my art at all used to be difficult.  I worked through that.  Now, sharing the process is the hard part.   The process is slow and not linear.  There are do-overs and changing directions.  Welcome to the way my brain works.)

Friday’s declutter:

  1. a pillowcase
  2. fabric
  3. some tea-light candles
  4. an extra grass collection bag for the lawnmower
  5. a stuffed animal



Being in the Right Spot

Someone gave me a plant several months ago.  I don’t do plants very well.  I like them well enough.  I’ve read that they are good for a healthy home environment – that they clean the air and lend an atmosphere of peace and harmony.

In my “if” life (the life I imagine I could have “if” I had time, energy, money, etc.) my home is filled with lush, green vegetation.

In reality, any plant that I have tend to get forgotten.  Most days, I deem successful if I water and feed me and my family.

During one of my past decluttering sessions I got rid of several sickly looking plants – mostly consisting of sticks and dried leaves.  The pots went too.  I was done with plants.

Then this one showed up.  It moved around quite a bit and finally landed on the table in the entryway.  I like it there.  If someone shows up at my door, they can see the plant and know that I have made an attempt at decorating.  My hope is that they will see the plant and overlook the pile of shoes, jackets, dog hair and bags full of who-knows-what that typically fill said entryway.

The plants sits in a very visible spot so I remember to water it.  Okay, to be totally honest, I can see when it’s wilted to a point that I remember to water it.

It’s in a good spot for me.

Lately I have noticed that the plant is leaning – reaching out away from the wall towards the center of the room – towards the light of the window.  I turned it around so it would straighten up.  It still reaches towards the window.

The plant knows what it needs to stand straight and to grow.  It’s not concerned with being in the right spot to “look good” or satisfy a shallow need to keep up appearances.

The plant knows where it needs to be and what it needs to be the best possible plant that it can be.

A simple lesson for me from the humblest of places.  Today I am wondering and thinking about what I need to be the best possible me.  Where do I need to be?  What do I need to do?    What is in my way?  What is keeping me from the light?

What unnecessary things and actions are keeping me from standing up straight and growing fully?

I’ve moved the plant in a place of honor in front of a window. And gave it water.


Want versus Need

Definitely a recurring theme around here lately – want vs. need.  Just when I think I’ve got the concept figured out, something happens that reminds me that my point of view can be very skewed.

It started with a trip to Target to pick up a few essentials.  And who can go to Target and just get what they need without wandering around for a bit and seeing all kinds of stuff that they need (want).  Youngest and I ended up in the Halloween section.  She’s thinking about her costume and dreaming big dreams – and that in my opinion is the fun part of Halloween.  Forget the candy – Who can I be?  That’s a great question.  Who/what can I dress up as?  What can I imagine?  What can I pretend?  The big night when I can wear a costume and be whoever (or whatever) I want!

She’s perusing the aisles keeping in mind the parameters.  No complete costume that costs $25.00 before accessories.  Have to use your imagination.  If we buy it this early, you can’t get bored and change your mind.

As she’s looking we can’t help but notice some of the other families around us.  Several kids each and a cart full of Halloween.  They sent the kids down the aisles and said “pick out a costume”.   And they did:  the costume, all the accessories, the matching candy bucket, and a few pricey Halloween decorations for good measure.  “Mom, I need this to go with my costume”.

Please don’t misunderstand me.  I’m not judging their purchases, decisions or child-rearing practices.  Maybe they have that kind of money.  Maybe they have good credit.  Maybe it’s their once-a-year splurge.  It’s really none of my business.

What I do know, is that my kid picked out fox ears, a fox tail, and a fox nose, said I’ll use a plastic bag for my candy or find something at home, and was done.

Not going to lie…she certainly noticed those other kids shopping.

We had a good, long talk about want and need.

About what happens when you get everything you want as a kid and then grow up.  And find out the world isn’t really all about making you happy.

About kids in this country and certainly elsewhere in the world who will never get that one night of dressing up and getting way too much candy – about the kids who will never know a decent meal, much less a piece of candy.

About this simple truth:  you can’t have it all – no matter how rich you are or how hard you try.

About being careful who you are comparing your life to when figuring out if you have enough or not.

…The people in Target who dropped about $400 for one night of fun or the folks who weren’t in Target getting anything at all?

…The people up the street who have a “nicer” house or the people around the world who don’t have any home at all?

…Our paycheck that doesn’t quite reach until the next payday or the people who don’t have a paycheck at all and would really like to be earning one.  Not to mention the folks who are working two full-time jobs or multiple part-time ones just to keep the roof over their heads.

This was her big life lesson this week.  I know she’s thinking about it.  I hope it helps her to make better and more thoughtful decisions about her wants and needs.

But, I’m afraid its not a lesson you learn once and are done.  That you get it all figured out and don’t need to worry about it any more.  There’s just so much cool “stuff” out there.  So much to want.  So many advertisements skewing our perspective.  The fallacy that “this” will make up happy.  “This” will make our house clean.  “This” will solve that problem.

It seems that I have to revisit the subject of want versus need a lot

After the Target visit,  I was thinking, “It is really time to figure out flooring for this house.  I need to get these floors done.  (Remember, we pulled up the carpet a while back).  A trip to The Home Depot ensues.  Conclusion:  no way in hell these floors are getting done any time soon.  Now I feel sorry for myself because I really need new flooring and we work hard and we should be able to have new flooring and there just isn’t enough money and it really isn’t fair….

And then…

…I’m made aware of a family I know that lost their house to foreclosure
…and am reminded of a friend who has opened up her home to two families that needed some help getting their life together
…and a group of folks that live in tents and live paycheck to paycheck and job to job and help each other out – sharing whatever they have
…and the family I know who need a new floor (not just floor covering) and a new roof and a couple of windows
And I have a good, long talk with myself about want and need.  And I’m thinking about it.  I’m hoping it will help me make better and more thoughtful decisions about want and need.  Until the next time…