Sometimes

Sometimes when I am going about my day, this blog writes itself in my head.  It’s not a planned thing.  The words just start appearing.  And then they start multiplying and rearranging themselves in proper order.

Sometimes there is a rabbit trail of thought which I store for another day.  Sometimes I remember the alternate post, but sometimes not.  I don’t worry too much about it.

I’m learning to trust the process and believe that the important stuff will reappear at the appropriate time.  I rarely sit down without a piece already started in my head, but do occasionally if nothing has presented itself for a while.

I think those times of writing “drought” may be an indication that I’m too busy and not listening to myself…not allowing enough time for thoughts and dreams and ideas…or that they are being drowned out by too much busyness and reality.

And that thought has led me inadvertently to my slogan, theme, or plan for the next year…

I started making an intentional focus for the new year a couple of years ago.

The first idea was “to be the change I wished to see in my world”.

Last year was “turn my cants into cans and my dreams into plans”.

This year I think I’m going with “Re-think, Re-imagine, and Reflect.

These are the words that have been running through my head the last couple of days.

Now I have the words I’m going to use.  The exact details aren’t clear, but I’m going to spend some time with a journal this week and think about and imagine the possibilities…

As for today, I’ve decided to start my new year now.

It is a beautiful day…warm and spring-like…it feels like a beginning.

The bees are busily buzzing on my front porch looking for any jasmine flowers that made it through the last freeze.

Lots and lots of tiny birds are flying from a thicket that edges my yard to the bird feeder hanging by my front window.

As I was standing quietly on the porch the bees and birds flew past me going about their business.  The buzzing bees and humming wings were the only sounds I heard.

How many times have I missed this scene outside my own door?

How many times has the noise of my life been all that I’ve heard?

It bothers me that my focus is so much on what is going on right around me and that I don’t spend enough time looking and listening and being still…

Today is a new day.

It’s a good day for beginning anew…for thinking, imagining and reflecting.

Today will be spent creating order from the chaos that is leftover from the Christmas festivities and creating pages in a new journal.

Today will be spent ridding myself of some clutter…both physical and mental.

Today will be spent in some busyness and some idleness.

Seeking balance.

 

 

Late and Quiet

It’s late at night here at home.  The family is asleep or at least quietly in their space(s).  I’m wandering through the house shutting out lights and taking an inventory of the weekend’s activity.

By the looks of things it was a busy weekend indeed.

There is not a tidy spot in the house.

We had a big family breakfast and the dishes aren’t done.  Everyone was running around doing their own thing so the rest of our meals were “grab and go”.  Those remnants and dishes are all over the kitchen also.  On the bright side, the fridge and pantry are still clean.

I don’t do laundry on the weekend so there is a mountain in the laundry room.

It’s difficult to fit an apartment worth of stuff into one room, so my daughter’s stuff is still all over.  She’s sorting out the “need now” from the “need later”.  Half-empty and half-full boxes are waiting for those decisions to be made.  The stuff from the guest room needs a new home as she transitions the room back into hers.  She’s working two part-time jobs so progress is slow.  In short, there is stuff EVERYWHERE!

I figured out a storage solution.  We have a storage space in our classroom/studio that will work.  It was filled with all the paper documents from our small business.  It was moved here when we were still actively involved in it’s day to day operations. Sixty boxes worth.  That needs to be sorted into keep and shred/recycle. Right now, it’s stacked everywhere other stuff isn’t stacked, waiting to be dealt with.

As you can imagine, there a lots of stacks.  It might be more correct to say that there are trails through the stacks.

My house is a maze

All in all, my home is once again a mess – a total disaster.  Boxes everywhere, piled laundry, dirty dishes, stacked counters and tables, messy bathrooms, and an art project or two.

Initially, I was upset and frustrated.

Then I had an epiphany of sorts.  There is a better way of looking at it all.  A choice – an intentional choice.

Today is done – the end of a good weekend.  There is evidence of that good weekend everywhere I look. Meals shared.  Creative projects worked on.  Memories made.  Time together.  Everyone is happy and healthy.  No disasters or drama.

Just a mess – my family’s mess in our home.

Could we learn to better pick-up after ourselves?  Yes.

Should there be less stuff to deal with? Yes.

Is our life perfect?  No.

We are a work in progress.  I am a work in progress.

Tomorrow, I will get up.  Start a load of laundry.  Make breakfast.  Tidy the kitchen.  Supervise some schoolwork.  Take my son to work.  Pick up my daughter from work.  Clean a little bit.  De-clutter a little bit.

I’m going to remember to eat healthy foods and take a walk.

I’m going to hug my husband and kids and tell them that I love them.

It’s not my purpose in life to clean and maintain a perfect home.  Nor is it a priority to de-clutter and have the “right” number of possessions.

Those are just tasks towards a goal.  A comfortable home for our family to live and thrive and grow in.

There is definitely work to be done.

But, it will never be “finished”.

There will be another meal (and more dishes), a new day (and a change of clothes), more projects (yea, creativity!), and eventually someone will move out or back in.  We will re-arrange, re-prioritize, pursue new interests, change, and grow.

It is my purpose in life to love and care for my family (and myself).  I also need to make art, but that’s another blog post.

As I have been writing this, today has turned into tomorrow.  Sunday has transitioned to Monday.

Time for reflection makes way for rest…for it is a new day, a new attitude and a new opportunity to make positive changes.