Depends on how you look at it…

I was determined that today was going to be a sunshine kind of day.  I’m not giving up on that.  I trying out the “depends on how you look at it” mindset.  So far, so good…ish.

My sister hasn’t been looking too great since Friday.  Of course, Friday is the day you always start feeling crappy since it’s right before the weekend and you can’t get in to see the doctor.  She’s also a bit stubborn so I pretty much have to let her decide on her own what she’s gonna do.  Over the course of the weekend, I was getting pretty worried, but kept my mouth shut.

This morning she decided that she’d like to go to Wal-Mart and pick up a few things.  And maybe call the doctor.  Instead, I drove her to the doctor’s office.  Just by chance her doctor’s physician’s assistant was available to see her.  By the time we got into the office, my sister was extremely short of breath.  Her oxygen sats were in the mid 70’s to low 80’s.

An ambulance was called and off we went to the hospital again.  This time tests revealed that she had a sizable pulmonary embolism.  The biggest one her doctor had ever seen in someone still moving.

Whew!  I’m choosing not to dwell on the what-ifs.  What if we hadn’t gone into the doctor’s office.  What if they hadn’t transported her to the hospital.   What if….

I going to look at it a different way.  Thankful that it all worked out like it did.  That she is in the hospital where any emergencies can be addressed right away.  That treatment has been started.  Hopefully, we can get everything resolved and she can truly be on the mend. Her surgeries were on the 1st and 3rd.  She’s tired of being tired and sick of being sick.

I’m starting to think that my hope of getting to September and things calming down may not be realistic.  It seems that I still have more lessons to learn about living a simpler, more intentional life.  This month has been the “graduate” school level crash course.

So today, I am learning to seek the positive side of the situation.

To not dwell on the what-ifs.  To be grateful for any little thing that goes right.  To let go of the things that go wrong.

To not spend too much time trying to prepare for the what-ifs and just enjoy the right now.

To look for the sunshine peeking through the clouds and be grateful for the blessing of the rain.  Both are an essential part of life.




I’m back…sort of.

Hello all.  I am home from the hospital with lots of funny tales to tell.  But that may take a while because there is an equal number of not-so-funny stories also, and I’m just not ready to deal with it all yet.  I did want to get on for a minute and thank everyone for prayers, messages and happy thoughts.   Many, many times during the last week, something scary or painful would be happening and I would think of it in terms of how I would blog about it (or not) and it helped me out tremendously…just to think things through and not react at the first emotion or thought that popped in my head.

Not to be dramatic, but I’m told that I was an emergency surgery case and would have likely died if I had not gone to the emergency room.  I have lots to process and evaluate in terms of my life journey…the changes I’ve made and those that need to be made.  It kind of makes you stop and think, you know.

Now it’s time for my early, mid-afternoon nap.  You have to carefully schedule and plan to fit them all in you know!  I’ve written one post, responded to one email and sat up for 15 minutes while using my brain.  I think I’ve earned a nap….or two.

Bye for now.