This morning after my shower, I spent 20 minutes trying to find a pair of clean underwear. Most of the laundry is washed…just not folded or put up. In frustration, I yelled out into the empty house, “I’ve got to get my act together”.
Well, not a completely empty house. The dogs are all here. What they heard me yell was, “Let’s go for a walk”. Chaos ensued.
But, back to paragraph one. “I’ve got to get my act together” is, in fact, a true statement.
It is not, however, a particularly helpful one. It is negative, rather vague, and distinctly lacking in helpful details about how to accomplish such a task.
Sometimes I feel like I’m stumbling around in a fog trying to live life like a grown-up.
Anyway, I did manage to find clean underwear, pants and a shirt. No clean bra, but I am sufficiently covered to start the day. After starting the washer, I started back down the hall to start “the list” that would help me get my life in order.
I saw this sitting on the studio table…
…the same encaustic piece that I posted here on Monday, but viewed from a different angle…a different perspective. The same, but different.
And, I remembered that this week was going to be about creativity and not stress.
And, that led me to think about the fact that I may not have my “life together” with regards to housekeeping, but I I’m pretty good at making a home…
I’m okay with being a homemaker and not a housekeeper.
I’m also good at making some pretty cool stuff sometimes.
It all depends on how I choose to look at it.
So, no giant list detailing the steps I need to take to “fix” my life will be written today.
I will attempt to get the clean laundry put up.
And, I’m not going to clean the whole house in order to satisfy that part of me that thinks I need to do so.
I’m going to stick to my plan to be creative and make something today.
But first, the doctor appointment on Tuesday…
Helpful and not at all helpful.
I like the doctor. I feel that he is an intelligent, knowledgeable and experienced physician. He reiterated that I do not have Multiple Sclerosis.
I pointed out that I was relieved to hear that, but that there is still something wrong with my vision. He repeated that my vision problem was not caused by Multiple Sclerosis.
This pattern repeated itself a few times.
So, it would seem that from a neurologist’s point of view, all is well. It’s not M.S.
From my perspective, the journey continues. We have good insurance. We pay a lot of money for it. It doesn’t cover everything. Sometimes, it doesn’t seem to cover much of anything at all. I can’t just randomly keep seeing doctors and rely on them to solve the problem.
I’m going to continue my research. It’s good to know what I don’t have. I’m grateful for that information. If my eyesight stays the way it is, all is well. I can still do everything that I need to do. In the big scheme of things, it’s a mild inconvenience.
Maybe it is stress.
Maybe it’s age.
Maybe it’s related to my hypertension.
Maybe it will get worse.
Maybe it will get better.
The plan is to clean up my diet (again) and lose some weight. I’ll walk my 10,000 steps a day. I’ll keep working on reducing stress and trying to get my life together. I will not stress about getting my life together.
I will be kind to myself during this journey.
I will view things from different angles and keep things in perspective.
Above all, I’m going to spend more time doing that which I am good at…
and spend less time worrying about what I’m not good at.
Journey well today, my friends…