Showing Up

rinat-S1zsO5IjNNQ-unsplashOnce, I felt a call to ministry within an organized denomination of the Protestant church.

The calling felt right and I actively pursued it to the point of enrolling in seminary.

And then it didn’t happen.

And that now feels right…but it didn’t at the time.

In that time, I felt like a total, complete, absolute failure.

I had set out on a path and had not achieved my goal.  I was not successful.

I am learning to re-define what success and failure can be.

They are relative words.

I’ve come to realize that sometimes simply attempting something can be a successful achievement. Trying something on for size and realizing that it doesn’t “fit” might be the whole point.

I’ve had a lot of “jobs” so far in my life.  I’ve even had a number of “vocations”.  The difference, I believe, is whether you can easily walk away or not.

I don’t believe that I’ve been a total “success” or “failure” at any of the them.  Sometimes, I feel like I’ve simply shown up and struggled through.

I’m learning to be at peace with my efforts in life so far.  I always thought I’d accomplish something “great” or “significant”.

Maybe I still will or maybe I already have and don’t even know it.

Or maybe just showing up is enough.

I am loving and trying to live into this quote right now…

You are unique in your being, your substance, your abilities, and your relationships. And there is no one else on the face of the earth who can live your life and accomplish your good. Please, do not forget that.

http://www.becomingminimalist.com › life-is-too-short

 

One thought on “Showing Up

  1. I try to live by this motto:
    The Universe is constantly conspiring for my good.

    I’m working these days to live into each moment, trusting that i am exactly where I’m supposed to be, exactly when I’m supposed to be, because… here i am.

    I’m trusting that i will know when and where to go, based on all I’ve learned, done, and met thus far.

    It’s a strange way of life, so new that it still feels uncomfortable, as i try new and different things to make my way, creating the me i will be next, among all the other detritus of the Universe. As strange as it seems, it is also peaceful (except when it’s not… a sign to change? Or that change is coming?).

    It’s also… I’m realizing, the place I’ve always been.

    Liked by 1 person

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