gratitude

Keep Life Simple

| Kelly Barrow @ Faithacre Studio

What the hell does that even mean?

I wish I had an answer or some profound advice to share with you.

I don’t.

What I do have is my stories and maybe that can help…

I’ve been writing for quite some time about my desire for a simpler, more intentional life.

I think I may have even written that exact sentence before.

Today, I am frustrated…

that the house is still a mess

that we are still in debt and struggling

that I always seem to have something to worry about

and that I seem to be making no progress towards my goal.

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And yet, as I look back over this year’s posts at this (almost) mid-point of the year, I realize that I have done a pretty good job of sticking with my “motto” –  being grateful and letting go.

I have become better about experiencing gratitude in the midst of life…even when it wasn’t easy.   I am more grateful for what I have and more patient with dealing with the challenges than I used to be.

(most of the time)

I’m still not grateful for dog hair…lots and lots of dog hair.

I am grateful for my dogs (again, most of the time)

I am grateful that my dogs are not bald…that they have hair, but once it comes off of them…

Not grateful (at all).

I suppose if I took up spinning yarn I could use the damn stuff, but I suspect the fibers are too short and then what the hell would I do with the stupid dog hair yarn?  I don’t knit or crochet and I sure don’t need any more projects…

Nope, not grateful for dog hair.

Maybe that gratitude will come with more practice.

I sincerely doubt it though.

And, as far as the house goes, I am still decluttering.

Sometimes, despite my best intentions, too much comes in.

But, I haven’t give up (totally).

Some days (weeks) I don’t even try.

But, some days I do a lot.

If I wasn’t decluttering at all, what a mess it would be!

Again, the journey continues.

I’m not standing still.

Although I’m doing a better job of resting when I need to.

So, it turns out that I needn’t be so frustrated today.

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I’m doing an okay job of moving forward on this journey and letting go of that which is heavy and for that…

I am grateful.

Peace

 

 

 

 

The Practice of Gratitude

| Kelly Barrow @ Faithacre Studio

gratitude

I have a good life.

It’s not perfect (but neither am I).

Sometimes I forget to remember the good things…and I focus on what’s not going the way I want.

I can have unreasonable expectations.

Which is not to say that there are not sometimes reasons to be unhappy and dissatisfied.

But I want to look on the bright side more often and be grateful for all that is good in my little corner of the world.

So, I have made this book out of my handmade paper and I’m going to write down 1,000 things that I am grateful for.

I got the idea from one of the many books that I sorted out to finally read.

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Honestly, it wasn’t my favorite book ever. I didn’t read it all the way through.  I kind of skipped around and read bits here and there.  It had some really good stuff and some simply good stuff and some stuff that was a little too flowery and preachy for me. For now it will stay on my shelf because it has a bird on the cover and I really like birds.

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Photo by Glen Carrie on Unsplash

Still, it was worth browsing through for the idea a making a list of stuff I’m grateful for.

A thousand things is a lot.

We’ll see how it goes…I’ve gotten to 42 without too much effort.

I’ll keep you posted.

Until then, I hope your day finds you with things to be grateful for…

Peace.

Thankful 365

| Kelly Barrow @ Faithacre Studio

I try to be thankful all the time…even when it’s challenging to do so.

Especially when it’s hard to do so. because that’s when I get down to the serious business of gratitude.  Being thankful for health, family, and the other obvious stuff is good.  I’m not knocking any of those things.  There are many other things we can be grateful for that come off the top of our head when it comes time to share at Thanksgiving (or any other time). But when the going is tough, looking for the good stuff reminds me that there is always something to be thankful for.  Always.

When you only have two vehicles being shared between four adults (living at two different addresses) and one breaks down at the beginning of a holiday week with a busy schedule…it sucks.  I’m reminding myself, however, to be thankful that one is still running and we have a small emergency fund that we’ve been building for the last year that will help out with the expense.

When the grocery store is crazy busy and filled with more than a few cranky people, I am grateful to live near a grocery store that stocks an amazing array of food and that I am able to purchase what I need and a few things that I want.  I am grateful for the ability to smile at those who aren’t smiling and share conversation with others who are in a good mood.

When I’m tempted to worry and complain that all of my home repairs and projects didn’t get done, and that the house isn’t perfect for the holiday, I’m grateful that I have a home.  And grateful that I have the resources to offer hospitality to family and friends.

When suffering one of the worst anxiety attacks I’ve ever had last night, I’m grateful for a husband who sat silently with me until I was able to fall asleep.  I’m also grateful for this apparently random attack (I’m not sure what triggered it) because it signals that stress has been building for a while and I need to take care of myself and be aware of what might be contributing to it. It was a reminder that I haven’t been making the best possible choices for my health, and my body and mind are the worse for it.

And there’s more, but the day’s work is calling…

My hope for you this week is that you might find something to be grateful for…even if your life is not all you’d like it to be right now.  I am grateful that you have chosen to read this post and thankful for your presence on this planet.  All of our lives have meaning and purpose…

and that is something for all of us to be grateful for.

Amen.

 

Not Looking Hard Enough

| Kelly Barrow @ Faithacre Studio

Some days it’s easier to live in gratitude than others. As someone who can all too easily free-fall into anxiety and depression, I’m concentrating more and more on living in gratitude.  It’s one of my most intentional of intentional living goals.

Today would be an easy day to just give into the sadness, gloom, depression, anxiety, worry, and every other conceivable dark and sorrowful emotion that exists.  I’m not going to do that.

I’m not denying the negative things that have happened and are happening today.  I can grieve and feel sad.  It’s just not going to be my whole focus.

Amongst all the stuff that’s happening in the world, life goes on.  Good stuff happens.  Bad stuff happens.  We laugh.  We cry.  We play.  We work.  We rest.

My small, little life continues…sometimes parallel to the lives of others and sometimes complexly intertwined.

Some days it’s really difficult to find something to be grateful for.  In some ways it feels callous to seek out joy when others are suffering so greatly.  The truth is that suffering is with us always whether it makes the news or not.

Seeking joy is an act of faith…a defiant action in the face of violence and hatred.

I believe in mankind.  I believe in peace.  I believe in goodness.  I believe that good people are behaving in kind ways as we speak.  I believe that good wins.

And so, I am grateful for little things.

I am thankful that, although we only have air-conditioning in two rooms of our house and it’s really hot today, someone has offered us a free window unit to help out.  And grateful for a relatively small electric bill that is helping balance the budget this month (as a result of not having central air).

I’m grateful for two paid-for cars that started today when we needed them too.  And hopeful that tomorrow they will do the same.

I’m grateful that my family is healthy and that we are not dealing with serious illness as so many I know are.

I am thankful for a full refrigerator, a new washing machine, a bed to sleep in, and a roof over my head.

I am grateful that I have not seen a snake today.

I am thankful for the chickens that are running around my yard eating insects and providing us with fresh eggs.

Right at this moment, I am grateful for a husband who graciously volunteered to clean up the mess from a beer that exploded in our kitchen because it is so hot in here.  That way, I can continue to write this post.

I am grateful that our family has a plan for a better future as a result of a budget that gives us hope to be out of debt (except for the mortgage)in about two years.  I can’t plan an awesome vacation right now.  We don’t have a pool.  I’m hot. But, I have hope that things will get better.  So many folks don’t have hope.

I’m finding that if compare my life to others and find my life lacking, I’m not looking in the right place.  That’s a choice I’m making.  I can look around me and see what I don’t have or look somewhere else and see that I am lucky and blessed.

I am lucky and blessed.  I have choices and options and hope.

My hope for you today is that you can find something to be grateful for and find peace.

0612161940aDecluttered today:

  1. the equipment for Direct TV – we are finally out from under our contract.  YEA!
  2. a box of old records
  3. 5 empty bottles of shampoo and soap from the shower – how did I not see these before?
  4. an old camera and case
  5. another stack of cut-up magazines

 

And now…today

| Kelly Barrow @ Faithacre Studio

Two more layers done.  I kind of hate it at this point.  I walked away rather than paint over it.  That’s not an uncommon reaction.  Today was the easiest day to work on it so far.  I really have missed making stuff.  It’s been months and months and months.  I kept saying that I would get back to it when I got this or that done.  As I’ve discussed recently this and that never get done.

I’m not really a flowers in a vase, still life kind of artist.  We’ll let it “simmer” overnight and see what happens tomorrow.

Decluttered today:

  1. some old seeds
  2. 3 shoes (a pair and a shoe and interestingly enough, the random shoe is not a mate for the odd shoe earlier in the week)
  3. a favorite t-shirt that was more holes than shirt
  4. a stack of old artwork that my kids made – I saved my favorites
  5. an old journal that is not filled with happy memories

I’m going to count today a success.  I made a little money and I made a real dinner for the family.  The trash is out before the trash men are pulling into the cul-de-sac tomorrow morning.  I didn’t yell at anyone and used mainly kind words.  I had to drive the dying car without air-conditioning and it made it where it was going and back and I didn’t melt.  I worked on some art and decluttered and cleared off a surface or two.  My youngest and I did a bunch of school.  Oh, and I deposited the money I made in the bank before we were overdrawn.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret.  Most of the day, I didn’t feel like it was a good day.  But I’ve been regularly reading a friend’s CaringBridge entries and she is relentlessly looking for the bright side.  If she can do it, then I certainly should be able to do so.

So today, I have been trying to live in gratitude – in all things and in all ways…grateful for a car that serves my needs if not my wants, grateful for a small paycheck that was just enough, grateful for excess that allows me to have trash, grateful for people in my life that I love even if they drive me crazy sometimes, grateful for the opportunity to homeschool and spend time with my daughter, grateful for my talents and the desire to use them, grateful to have choices, and opportunity and wise friends.

And that was today.