I had finished writing today’s blog post and was just about to hit “publish” when something stopped me – you know – that little voice in your head that whispers “this isn’t what you’re supposed to be doing”.

I read over what I had written and it sounded okay.  Not exciting and nothing out of the ordinary, but I live a fairly unexciting and ordinary life, so….

What was the problem?

I read it over again and still didn’t know what was bothering me, so…

I took a deep breath and erased it all.  I didn’t save it just in case.  Just gone.

And now I’m typing on these keys and waiting to see what gets written.

Still waiting.

Aha.  “I took a deep breath and erased it all.  I didn’t save it just in case.  Just gone.”

I don’t think I’ve been very honest with myself lately.  I’ve been talking (and writing) the talk lately, but haven’t really been walking the walk.

I’ve let things slide.  Maybe that was a good thing to take a break…rest is good.

I’m not making much progress on the house. I’ve de-cluttered a few things here and a few things there, but not really with any plan or goal.  It’s steps in the right direction, but not very focused.  We’ve lived here for almost ten years.  I’m not the same person I was and we’re not the same family we were.  I’d like to re-do some things and repair a lot of things.  Finances are an issue and a hindrance, but there are things I can do now.  I’m going to develop and write down a plan that will facilitate the “new” home I want.  We can’t (and I don’t want to) move, but it can be a complete transformation.  I’m going to envision the way I’d like things to be and eliminate what doesn’t fit the dream.  Each room can have new paint and a new fresh look to fit in with the new life we are making.  I can’t repair and paint now, but I can choose what stays and what goes and prepare for the rest.

I haven’t been eating as well as I was.  After my surgery, I completely changed my diet:  veggies, fruit, whole grain, less carbs, no junk.  After the blood sugar scare, I cut out sugar as much as possible.  Then it was a few chips, a bite of dessert, just a little of this and a bit of that.  I kept saying it was just today and that tomorrow I would get back with the program.  Yea, right (sarcasm).  Today, I’m clearing out the junk that has crept back in.  I don’t need it – none of us need it.  And to keep it honest – as I am typing this, I am eating cereal that is healthy – so healthy that I’m fairly certain that my chickens would enjoy it more than I am!  Just sayin’.

I’ve also quit exercising enough – I was busy, the kids were visiting, it was hot – tomorrow I’ll walk…

And making stuff…art.  That’s fallen by the wayside as well.  Until yesterday, when I was so down that I turned to it out of desperation.  It shouldn’t be a last resort sort of thing.  It’s an important part of who I am and I need to make stuff – a lot, not just “when there’s time”.

It’s time to take a deep breath and do what needs to be done.

Living with intention requires…intention.  And attention.  I’ve spent enough time just drifting along and I have committed to living my life.

• Time to draw up a plan for our “new” home that fits our needs and wants.
• Time to eat healthy, exercise and maybe lose a few more pounds.
• Time to create.

Now to get back to work (and fun).  Break time is over.