I was determined that today was going to be a sunshine kind of day. I’m not giving up on that. I trying out the “depends on how you look at it” mindset. So far, so good…ish.
My sister hasn’t been looking too great since Friday. Of course, Friday is the day you always start feeling crappy since it’s right before the weekend and you can’t get in to see the doctor. She’s also a bit stubborn so I pretty much have to let her decide on her own what she’s gonna do. Over the course of the weekend, I was getting pretty worried, but kept my mouth shut.
This morning she decided that she’d like to go to Wal-Mart and pick up a few things. And maybe call the doctor. Instead, I drove her to the doctor’s office. Just by chance her doctor’s physician’s assistant was available to see her. By the time we got into the office, my sister was extremely short of breath. Her oxygen sats were in the mid 70’s to low 80’s.
An ambulance was called and off we went to the hospital again. This time tests revealed that she had a sizable pulmonary embolism. The biggest one her doctor had ever seen in someone still moving.
Whew! I’m choosing not to dwell on the what-ifs. What if we hadn’t gone into the doctor’s office. What if they hadn’t transported her to the hospital. What if….
I going to look at it a different way. Thankful that it all worked out like it did. That she is in the hospital where any emergencies can be addressed right away. That treatment has been started. Hopefully, we can get everything resolved and she can truly be on the mend. Her surgeries were on the 1st and 3rd. She’s tired of being tired and sick of being sick.
I’m starting to think that my hope of getting to September and things calming down may not be realistic. It seems that I still have more lessons to learn about living a simpler, more intentional life. This month has been the “graduate” school level crash course.
So today, I am learning to seek the positive side of the situation.
To not dwell on the what-ifs. To be grateful for any little thing that goes right. To let go of the things that go wrong.
To not spend too much time trying to prepare for the what-ifs and just enjoy the right now.
To look for the sunshine peeking through the clouds and be grateful for the blessing of the rain. Both are an essential part of life.